Summer: Slowing Down to Listen
>> Friday, August 22, 2008
Eldredge talks about being trapped on the porch in a rain storm, frustrated at being unable to tackle all that he wants to accomplish that day. He says that often, the way that we live our lives are atually preventing us from living the life that God would have us live. "All that we are doing and chasing feels so inevitable. But do you like the pace of your life?" Do you think that your life feels "easy" and "light", as in 'my yoke is easy and my burden is light?" How often are you able to truly stop and rest? DOes your current way of life reveal your plan to find life?
In the workbook, Eldredge makes a challenge to ask God "What is the life you want me to live?" Are you willing to make any changes He might ask of you in order to find and live that life? Do you have certian areas of your life that you try to keep "off limits" from God? Areas that you would rather Him not "interfere with?"
3 comments:
Slowing down to listen is a real challenge. I usually have a good two hours a day during nap time, but I do decide to slow down and rest, I usually fall alseep. I don't think the pace of my life feels too fast. Sometimes, I actually feel like it's moving very slowly. I guess I should be thankful for that!
I don't think I've ever really asked God about the life he wants me to live. I feel deep in my heart that he wants me to be a wife and a mom, but beyond that I haven't pushed the issue. I think I'm afraid of what he might tell me. I think I try to keep God out of my "schedule." I don't really like any changes to our routine and by keeping God out of that area, I feel like I'm able to control it more. Just hearing myself think that is really convicting and sounds horrible.
I feel like I am living the life that He wants me to live...right now. I know that He wants me home to focus on my family during this time as my children are so young. What I struggle with is if I am doing it well for Him. I feel like I am where He wants me, but not always with the attidude that He calls me to have.
I also struggle with what He wants for my life in the future. I know that I will eventually go back into the workforce, but I stuggle with the "when" of that. I also fear that I will not be able to balance work and home well and that my life will be out of control, rather than having peace about it and giving Him the control.
It is terribly difficult to even think about it, but I think what I keep "off limits" is my family. Not that I want to keep them from God, but what if he were to ask me to go through life without them...I don't know if I could do it. I feared tremendously the entire time that Zach was in the Navy that something might happen to him. I often fear that I might lose my children in some sort of an accident. I know that He is in control and has a perfect plan, but "just not that". I am rambling because this is difficult for me to put into words. I guess my attitude is that I trust any plan that He has for me, but "please don't let my family go before me because I don't think I could bear that." It scares me that I feel this way, because I fear that He might have that in the plan to prove something to me or teach me something, for whatever reason.
I feel like now that I am staying at home, I have much, much more time to slow down and listen. The pace of my life right now is very slow compared to how it was just one year ago.
I think my problem now is I seem to fill my days with cleaning the house....over and over. I am a bit OCD about this...my house always needs cleaning,at least in my eyes. It keeps me from spending more quality time with God - and wit my sons. And the interesting thing is that I feel like no matter how hard I try, no matter how fast I work, the housework is NEVER really done. And once it is done either a child or my husband comes along and messes it all up. But I still fight the fight, day in and out....and though I know I should let go....I DO NOT want God interfering! How pathetic!
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